Mental Health Problems – Suicidal Ideation – Don’t commit suicide, live your life.

Cyclothymia is a member of the bi-polar spectrum. There is a high incidence of suicide amongst those with Bi-polar disorder, I think I read somewhere that it was one in ten or something.  I would never do it but I have a full understanding of how, certainly in the past,

self portrait - 1986-11_2
self portrait – 1986-11_2

before being medicated, this was a real possibility.  Just don’t do it, things can always change.  In the past, with cyclothymia I’d get suicidal ideations, where for no reason I just think about ending my life.  It was very strange but not unheard of, especially when going onto new medication. Best just to get up and do something a bit different and take your mind off it, or call someone but don’t alarm them unnecessarily!

Here’s a link to an article on attempted suicide written by Natasha Tracey, who is bipolar. Follow her great blog, she’s on facebook too. Natasha Tracey – the bipolar burble blog

I certainly was having a lot of thoughts about suicide when I took these photo’s, and part of the reason I took it was to eliminate any doubts about whether it had been an accident or suicide.

suicidal ideation
self portrait – suicidal ideation, always remember things will get better.

I wanted to show the viewer, after my death, that I was quite calm and ready to take the decision without being drunk and not on the spur of the moment.  Not very nice I know, but thankfully my circumstances changed, my mood phase shifted, and it never happened so all’s well that ends well.

Death is all around us, we just don’t see it. We fear it (although what we are really fearing is a painful death I believe), we are saddened by it when we lose a loved one or when we hear of someone dying in an accident.

Personally what I think is really sad is people doing nothing about getting fat, knowing nothing about how their body is fuelled (cut down on the carbs/sugar); People who drink and abuse their bodies with Class A drugs – to “escape” (escape what?) – If it’s something from the past, then it’s not now, try and live in the present; people too concerned with “stuff”.

self portrait - 1986-11_1
self portrait – 1986-11_1

Try and regularly do something that makes you experience real fear, fear that you have to try and take control of, that will make you feel more alive.

Most people have no idea what their bodies are capable of, and do nothing to stimulate the natural feel good drugs that can’t be banned. We do not have all the time in the world, and as individuals we really are specks of dust in time and space. Why doesn’t everyone want to fly a wingsuit, anyone can do it, you just need a bit of money and a bit of time, not a new carpet, car, sofa or whatever. It’s stormy out, I might go and climb a tree today. (and indeed I did –  a beech tree)

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